Matt 5:8

Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son.  Afterward, as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected.  He could bring about no change of mind, though he sought the blessing with tears.  Hebrews 12: 17

Along with Esau, I too am  short sighted person.  I see what’s right in front of me and I go for it.  Many times with not enough thought but just all action.  I lose sight of what is ahead. and in fear of missing out I act hastily.  But in fear of being wrong, I stand in the field of unknown, frozen and/or wandering within the vicinity of familiarity.  It’s a wide field which means there’s so much out there I JUST DON’T KNOW. 

It comes to a point where you have to accept that you wont and will not know everything.  It’s not possible.  That’s why I have to ask myself, "what is your focus?"  Why? because, it makes a difference.

We all have a lot of thoughts that go in and out of our 2 sided brains.  honestly, we can’t help it when thoughts are processed… how simple it would be if we could attach an on/off switch on our brains.  HA! even on our hearts. but that’s not how we were created, which means, that’s not how we are meant to be.

We are meant to think.  We are meant to feel.  We are meant to think about Him.  We are meant to feel things towards Him. To allow our thoughts to enhance our love for Him… and to allow our emotions to trigger thoughts of Him that astounds us…  God that is our aim.

We always say "balance" but I dont think ANYONE has fully grasped that in every aspect of their lives.  It’s tiring to be balanced…  especially with everyone having different personalities, values, priorities, etc…   

so what does this lead to?

nothing really but for me to regurgitate my thoughts on this entry.

As I was struggling to get the vaccuum in between my piano and my couch, I realized something new.  I thought, "what would I do without a piano?"  and then it hit me! "what if I dont have a piano when …"  then that got me thinking…

"what are some things I can never picture my life without?"

now these are THINGS, not people.  that would be a whole new entry.  Regarding THINGS…

PIANO

COMPUTER (MY TYPING KEEPS UP WITH MY RANDOM THOUGHTS)

BIBLE / JOURNAL

MUSIC

PICTURES OR SOME FORM OF TANGIBLE/VISIBLE MEMORY

THINGS I CAN NOT PICTURE MYSELF LIVING WITH

- BUGS!!!!!!!!!! (at least the visible ones)

- MESSY/DIRTY…  why do you think i started vaccuuming at 10pm at night???

- Unpleasant smells

I have what my cousin deborah would call a brain fart right now. I’m sure there’s more but I guess i’m simpler than I thought.  I’M SURE THERE’S MORE TO ADD FOR BOTH LISTS!!

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